Lately I have been feeling as if my world has been turned upside down; everything seems to be disorganised.

This upside-down feeling is disorienting; I feel up tight and uncertain about the future.

Over the past four years, I have lost two younger siblings to cancer, leaving an emptiness within me.

Three of my close friends have also passed away, and I miss the special times we spent together.

Grief is a complex and difficult emotion to deal with; it made me feel sad, lonely, and hopeless, with no ability within me to do anything about it.

To add to my feelings, family upsets and their negative attitudes towards each other seem to pull me down further.

We have always been a loving and close-knit family. But as we all deal with grief differently, I need to see things from another perspective.

I am naturally a peacemaker, and these sad and difficult circumstances caused me to feel a sadness. I didn’t seem to be able to do anything to help the situation with my family.

I love them all dearly, and as much as I want them to overcome these problems, I know it is not my place to interfere or to try to solve their difficulties.

Realising that I couldn’t change what had happened and how much I loved my family, I needed to let them know that I loved them.

My job to my family, as a peacemaker, was to love them and to always be there for them.

I started to look at things that I could change and improve on, like small tasks that I needed to finish; this helped me, as I realised that it wasn’t my life that had turned upside-down, it was my perception of life that changed.

Being a peacemaker is not just about bringing peace; it is also about understanding the needs of others, their feelings, being a good listener, allowing them to express their feelings, and realising that sometimes our opinion is not needed.

It is about forgiveness and just being a friend.

If I go through that upside-down feeling again, instead of trying to solve the problem, I will quietly listen, be there for them and, show them that I care. I will turn my feelings downside-up.

– Nancy